Wondering how to have deep, meaningful conversations in a world that seems to value chit-chat more and more?
What challenge made you grow? Reflecting on challenges can deepen conversations because it allows you to share your flaws and vulnerabilities, which in turn can foster bonds. In her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance (2016), psychology professor Dr Angela Duckworth argues you overcome the challenge because you have grit.
Grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals.
Think about a challenge you’ve overcome and share an experience of hard work, conversation, and the perseverance needed to see yourself through. The next time a challenge comes around, you’ll be better prepared if it’s your perseverance in action.
How have you gotten through?
Opening up: asks things like ‘When have you felt more vulnerable, and still strengthen that relationship or connection now?’ It allows for personal stories and insights and helps to build bonds emotionally. do you ask good group questions? Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, who has a bestselling book on the subject, says vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, innovation, and creativity. Vulnerability is also the birthplace of grief and farewells to beloved ways of being. If we want to live wholeheartedly in this world, if we want to connect with other people, if we want to feel alive, then we have to do it from a place of vulnerability. That requires courage, compassion, and connection. But, most of all, according to Brown, it requires letting go of what people think. This means that if you want to feel the full ride of whatever it is you’re doing — working, playing, loving — you have to bring your whole heart to it. You have to let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and be all in, or at least as all in as you can possibly be. Deep breath. Let’s go. So, when do you feel most vulnerable?
Proudest Moment:
‘What’s your proudest moment and what did it teach you?’ invites reflection, shared accomplishment and meaningful insights, and brings people closer together. As the professor of psychology Dr Sonja Lyubomirsky argues, having positive emotions such as feeling proud and accomplished can have considerable bearing on wellbeing and happiness in people. So, taking time to reflect and share your proudest moments can enable you to harness these feelings, increasing your general level of satisfaction and happiness. What’s your proudest moment?
Personal Values and Beliefs:
‘What value or belief guides your decisions and life?’ Such questions help you know more about each other’s guiding principles and what you hold dear in your personal lives. The eminent psychologist Dr Howard Gardner, whose theory of multiple intelligences has been used in educational classroom environments, also developed the concept of ‘good work’ presenting it as the ‘perfect intersection of excellence, engagement and ethics’. He emphasizes the role of values, noting that ‘good work is inspired and guided by one’s deeply held beliefs about the good life, and one’s projects and circumstances must be consonant with those values’.
Influence and inspiration:
‘Who’s had the biggest impact on your life and why?’ The question of who has had an influence on someone offers your person an opportunity to share a meaningful relationship and talk about that person’s influence in their life. The psychology Professor Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky writes in The How of Happiness that individuals whom you look up to can offer you positive examples and help you to adopt healthy behaviors and attitudes. As such, who has been the most influential person in your life?